Sixpenny Cheese

I’m a big boy now, I’m six and a bit
Making rude noises, one hand up the other armpit
And when I’m eatin’ me tea
Cram it all in me cake-hole and open wide so you can see
My dad’s upset
I scribbled in his magazine, he hadn’t finished lookin’ at it yet
Mum’s raisin’ hell
I raided the sweets and scoffed her last caramel
And if the Moon was made of cheese, I’d scoff that as well.

I’m a big boy now, I’m nearly four stone
I pick me nose a lot ‘cause I like a snack when I’m on me own
I peeled a scab off me knee
I’m learnin’ to swim in the pool where I had a sly wee
I get into fights
Mostly with girls ‘cause I keep shovin’ worms down their tights
‘Got me own gang
Givin’ wedgies to the mummy’s boys until they go ‘twang’
And if the Moon was a balloon, then I’d make it bang.

I’m a big boy now, I’m three foot four
There’s a bogeyman hidin’ at night behind me toy-cupboard door
I kneel and pray by me bed:
God bless Father Christmas, the Easter Bunny and me sleepy head
Me mates all swear
That there’s gold at the end of a rainbow, but I don’t really care
Me milk-teeth pay
I get sixpence from a fairy when she takes one away
The Moon’s like a sixpence too; I’ll spend it one day.
The Moon’s like a sixpence too; I’ll spend it one day.